Hey friends,

This is Part 1 of a three-part-ish post😅. Just trying something here, bare with me😅. And since the point of this newsletter is to share my experiences and things I’m learning, here’s what I’m learning of PTSD I guess :)

So over my course of reading random topics online, I’ve come across Complex PTSD quite often for a while now, and did a little digging. Not so much digging later, and I found this wonderful video and article that I’ll attach their links in Part 3 of this. But the article went a little something like this:

PTSD stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a condition officially recognized in 1980 to describe exposure to a relatively brief but devastating event: typically, a war, a rape, an accident or terrorist incident. Complex PTSD, recognized in 1994, describes exposure to something equally devastating but over a very long time, normally the first 15 years of life: emotional neglect, humiliation, bullying, disrupted attachment, violence and anger. A lot of us, as many as 20%, are wandering the world as undiagnosed sufferers of ‘Complex PTSD’. We know that all isn’t well, but we don’t have a term to capture the problem, we don’t connect up our ailments – and have no clue who to seek out or what treatment might help.

So here are the first 6 leading symptoms of Complex PTSD. You might think about which ones, if any, apply to you (more than 7 might be a warning sign worth listening to):

1. A feeling that nothing is safe😬:Wherever we are, we have an apprehension that something awful is about to happen. We are in a state of hypervigilance. The catastrophe we expect often involves a sudden fall from grace. We will be hauled away from current circumstances and humiliated, perhaps put in prison and denied all access to anything kind or positive. We won’t necessarily be killed, but to all intents, our life will be ‘over’. People may try to reassure us through logic that reality won’t ever be that bad; but logic doesn’t help. We’re in the grip of an illness, we aren’t just..a bit confused.

2. We can never relax😪: This shows up in our body. We are permanently tense or rigid. We have trouble with being touched, perhaps in particular areas of the body. The idea of doing meditation isn’t just not appealing, it may be positively revolting and – deeper down – terrifying. Probably our bowels are troubled too; our anxiety has a direct link to our digestive system.

3. We can’t really ever sleep and wake up very early🥱: We are generally in a state of high alarm, as though, during rest, we have let down our guard and are now in even greater danger than usual.

4. We have, deep in ourselves, an appalling self-image😏: We hate who we are. We think we’re ugly, monstrous, repulsive. We think we’re awful, possibly the most awful person in the world. Our sexuality is especially perturbed: we feel predatory, sickening, shameful.

5. We’re often drawn to highly unavailable people💔: We tell ourselves we hate ‘needy’ people. What we really hate are people who might be too present for us. We make a beeline for people who are disengaged, won’t want warmth from us and who are struggling with their own undiagnosed issues around avoidance.

6. We are sickened by people who want to be cozy with us😠: We call these people ‘puppyish’ ‘revolting’ or ‘desperate’.

The other six symptoms will be on the next post..so stay tuned😛.

But maybe think on these; no reply on this email though, ‘twill be better after you get the full list of symptoms😁.

Have a wonderful week ahead!

Reagan.